“Only the man who crosses the river at night knows the value of the light of day.” — Chinese Proverb
“Values provide perspective in the best of times and the worst.” — Charles Garfield
Friendly greetings and beginning to show genuine interest provide a great start to developing a friendship.
After finding out about each others’ families, discussing values is a great direction to go. Family values, modesty, the sanctity of life, honesty, honor, integrity, the heart vs. the outward appearance, submission, humility, and compassion provide plenty of different ways you and your new friend can begin to get to know one another.
Here are some topics through which a discussion of values can flow:
* Holidays, customs, and traditions — Which holidays do you celebrate? Which one is coming up next? What will you/your family do for that holiday? How is that holiday celebrated in your homeland? Why is this holiday important to you? Tell me about your engagement and wedding. What traditions do you have that take place during this event? Was yours an arranged marriage? What do you believe are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?
*Hobbies and places of interest — What do you do when you are not at work? How do you spend your free time? Where do you like to go on vacation? Do you attend or visit a local mosque or community center? Have you ever been on Hajj?
*Dreams and desires — If someone gave you a million dollars, how would you spend it? Would you use some to help needy people/causes? If so, which causes? Would you travel? If so, to where? What would you buy that you cannot afford now? If you could go or be anywhere in the world, where would you go? Why there? If you could be a person of any profession, which profession would you choose? Why?
*Parenting/child-raising — What values do you most want your children to learn from you? How is discipline handled in your family (or how was it handled when you were growing up)? What do you want to do that your parents did for or with or to you? What do you not want to do that they did? What things do you do when a child is born? Do you celebrate a child’s birth each year? If so, how do you celebrate it? How many children do you want to have?
*Health and Fitness and Food — What do you do for exercise? What kinds of food do you like most?
Redeem the time! Talk about values . . .
–Lady of Prayer